What happened?
It seems like only weeks or months. But no, it's a whole year since our world was turned upside down.
And in that time, Caitríona has grown from a tiny baby to ... well, a much bigger baby. Technically, a toddler. I don't know if that means she's no longer a baby.
For her birthday, she got several books, a xylophone, a thing that makes a sound like rain if you turn it upside down, a little wooden car, and a sort of thing that has four tiny racing cars in it and when you put them on the top and let go, they sort of roll down by themselves. (You have to see it to understand. Maybe I need to video this one).
Anyway, she looked at us with a huge smile when she saw the xylophone, and once her brother showed her that you can make a LOUD noise with it, she had to have a go. Fortunately she's not yet that skilled in using it, but I expect there will be lots of LOUD noises soon. (noisy toys ... what were we thinking?)
One year in, and she's definitely a person with her own mind. She has seven teeth, and we try to brush them every night. This is a bit difficult, as her interpretation of brushing is "biting the brush head and sucking the toothpaste off". Not approved by the dental profession.
She likes the Teletubbies. She likes books. Sometimes she will stand for a few minutes with our big German dictionary and leaf through the pages. Searching for what, I don't know. Toothbrush, maybe. Or xylophone.
(Zahnbürste, Xylophon)
And now she's a year old. I remember looking at her weary, puzzled face after she emerged from the operating theatre, washed and wrapped in a blanket, just before being shepherded away to the Special Care unit.
No year of her life will ever be so long, nor so full of growth and changes. No birthday will ever again be her first birthday.
But I hope to see, again and again, that bright wide smile.
"Is that for me? Really? Just for me? I can play with it?"
Yes. And we really don't care how loud it is.